You Really Don't Remember Me?
by ChrisRedWing
Summary: When Piers is finally able to drag Chris from the bar counter and sit him on the table, it quickly became apparent that the BSAA Alpha team captain does not remember anything.- Set during Edonia. A different take on how the events in Edonia played out. (Nivanfield)
1. Chapter 1-Piers Nivans, BSAA Branch

All Biohazard Characters Belong to Capcom

You Really Don't Remember Me? Chp1

When Piers is finally able to drag Chris from the bar counter and sit him on the table, it quickly became apparent that the BSAA Alpha team captain does not remember anything. Chris slurs his words and shakes his head, his body slouched over the table he is sitting next to. That has a feeling of hurt flare inside of Piers, especially when Chris asks Piers who he is. After all, they have been through, how could Chris forget? Chris left Piers for six months and wasted himself in a bar and forgot everything. It's unreasonable of Piers, but it angers and hurts him. It's not Chris' fault, but still. What more could he expect when Chris was pounded so hard against the wall that blood left his parted lips with pained groans, and thrown like a rag down to the ground hard enough to crack the ground. Piers remembers panicking, screaming Chris' name and rushing to his side and pulling him from danger. He really thought they were dead, it was more napads than he could deal with, and with Chris' unconscious dead weight being dragged, he could not do much. Reinforcement had come just in time and took them out of that predicament. Piers had flown back with Chris in the helicopter. Piers would watch as Chris twisted and turned with pain moans escaping his lips. The doctors didn't know if he was going to make it. His body battered, cracked ribs, and punctured lungs. But by some miracle his captain pulled through only for him to run away the moment he was strong enough to stand on his feet. It's been six months since he's gone missing and Piers has finally found him.

Chris sits with his back facing a wall, his fingers fidgeting and his brown eyes darting towards the exit. He looks paranoid. As if a hungry ghost is over his shoulder. Piers watches him closely, a part of him scared Chris will get up from his chair and run out the door only to disappear again. This time for good.

"You really don't remember me?" Piers asks slowly, the words bitter in his tongue.

Chris shakes his head, swaying on his seat because of how intoxicated he is. Piers has seen his captain like this before. He always relied on substance abuse to push through the hardship. Anyone would think Chris easily brushes off the deaths of others since they always see him after the breakdown- when he is gearing up for a mission with his masked aligned and determine strong build. They don't see the Chris that drowns in misery, and drinks himself until he can't stand on his two feet. Or smokes until his lungs go raw. Chris is strong, a worthy captain and an admirable one at that. But Piers can't help but feel the BSAA captain is slowly losing himself. If he didn't already. After Kijuju, from what he's heard, Chris has never been quite right. Spacing out and having to be snapped back to reality only for him to smile and say he's fine, having a few panic attacks which leaves his limbs shaking, and having countless sleepless nights.

"Look kid, I don't know who the hell you are, but go back to the happy little life you crawled out of. You wouldn't understand anything."

Piers' hazel eyes narrow and his lips thin. "Like you don't understand why you are here, or who you are?" Piers asks, leaning forward in his chair and placing both his hands together, and brushing his thumb on top of the other. "You don't care to know who you were? Who you are? I find that hard to believe."

Chris glares at Piers, his hand reaching for the bottle of alcohol he left on the table, but before his large hand can so much touch it, the young man sitting across from him hits it hard enough for it to fall on the floor and spill its content.

That has Chris stand up quickly, the chair he is sitting on clattering on the floor. If Piers were another man, he would be cowering under the table by the sheer amount of malice Chris is directing his way- but he stays sitting, his hands once again joining, only to have to spring from his chair. Piers is forced to stand up the moment Chris lunges at him, his fist up and swings at where Piers was sitting not too long ago. With his drunk state, the BSAA captain ends up laying over the table, and his breath heavy with anger.

"Who the hell are you?" He asks, once his breathing is under control, his limbs shaking just by keeping his weight up by using the table as an arm rest- the palms of his hands open and pressed on the surface to keep him upright.

Piers takes a deep breath, before he answers. "Piers Nivans, BSAA North American branch." He answers. "I know who you are Chris. And I can help you, but you have to come with me" He adds.

Chris scoffs at that, as he allows his body to sit down once again and shoulders slouch as in defeat. "I'm not going anywhere with a young shit face like you." It's a lie, the man is painfully handsome. Full lips, hazel eyes with wide features. It makes his face look boyish and young. Not like his. Dark circles under his eyes making him look older than what he really is, stubble that needs to be shaved, and hair outgrown- closely resembling the time he was in Kijuju, but wilder and longer, and he smells like alcohol and smoke. The substance now sticking to him like a second skin.

"Does your past really mean that little you? Don't you care who you are, and what you have done?" Piers asks in disbelief, wanting to slam his hands on the table to emphasise his point, but he can see Chris is edgy, and anything can put Chris in a violent mode and lash out again. Chris has always had a short temper when messed with. But he is a relatively passive man. From what information they got from the bar, Chris has become a violent drunk. Any little thing can set him off.

"Your name is Chris Redfield, 39, captain of Alpha team. Does any of that ring a bell? You founded the BSAA with the help of others. You fight Bioterrorism. You have a younger sis-"

"Shut the hell up!" Chris yells angrily at Piers. "If I wanted to know my life story I would have asked for it. What I need to know I already know it. You're annoying the shit out of me and I need another drink!" Chris stands up to leave the bar, like the woman at the front had asked him to do after he asked for more liquor. The bitch had the nerve to splash his drink on his face.

Before he could get far, a firm grip holds him back.

The BSAA captain doesn't have to look back to know it's the young man. Nivans. "Let go of me." He says deeply, his other hand curling into a tight fist. He missed the first time, but he's not planning to miss this time. He'll break his princess face in.

"I can't let you walk away… You're hurting and you don't know why. I know Captain. It's easier to run than to face all the pain. But you don't have to do it alone. I'm here to help you."

"Who the fuck do you think you are?" Chris whirls around, facing Piers and forcing the young man to release his hold on his arm. "You really think you know me!? You really think you can help me!? In what way can you help me?"

Piers doesn't answer right away, looking into Chris' deep chocolate brown eyes. "I've helped you before. I'm the only one who has seen you at your worse, and I have helped you before." The young ace wants to reach out and grab the older man's hand and say more reassuring words. "Try to hear my voice and believe me. It's your choice to learn about yourself or not. But I'm taking you back, captain. One way or another. I'm not leaving you in this dump."

With his jaw tensing, Chris pulls away from the Ace. He doesn't remember Piers, but he knows he can't hold that over the man, he can't remember anything after all. All he feels is this overwhelming guilt which tears his insides apart at the seams. "You said I have a younger sister…" Chris asks slowly.

"Yes." Is Piers' only answer as he watches the man sort something in his drunken mind before his brown eyes go to Piers, apparently finding a conclusion.

"Ok… I'll go with you." He finally says, and those words has Piers breath in relief. He can see the other BSAA members with the corner of his eyes, and he didn't miss the way they started standing up to stop Chris from leaving- ordered to use physical force if need be. How would they stop 220 pound of muscles without force anyways? Piers didn't want that. With Chris' other team in Edonia gone and this one here to replace them- Chris does not know them. Not that Chris knows Piers right now, but Piers is the only one here who knows Chris in a much intimate way. The ace had insisted to HQ that he can convince captain Redfield to return. They gave him only one shot, and Piers was nervous Chris would walk out, knowing the BSAA will get Chris back with whatever means necessary. He is their best soldier. They would do anything to get it back. With Chris complying, Piers can hopefully take it easy with Chris. Knowing the BSAA, once they get their hands on Chris, they'll send him off to another mission- not caring of his mental state and the fact that he's _not_ ok.

As long as Piers is with him, he won't allow anyone, not even the BSAA to hurt his captain.


	2. Who You Are

**All RE Characters belong to Capcom**

Piers grimace when he hears his captain once again throwing up in the bathroom. The man has been there the entire morning- emptying the content of his stomach. The ace doesn't want know the hangover Chris must be going through right now. He knows this isn't the first time and he would think Chris would think it twice before drinking so heavily again, but from what information he's gotten, Chris is more drunk than sober most of the time.

Piers was able to convince Chris to come with him, but the BSAA captain refused. Until the ace offered the man more alcohol, a place to sleep and food. He underestimated his captain. He didn't receive the nickname 'Bearfield' for nothing. The man eats and sleeps like a bear. Piers was actually scared Chris would eat the wrapping of the hamburger wrap with how revenues he was eating. Piers hopes it's not because Chris is wasting his money on liquor and not food. Chris does look thinner and smaller than what he remembers him to be. His hair is unkempt and facial hair outgrown. Chris' skin looks a sickly pale, even though it's still darker than Piers'. There are dark circles under his eyes, and Piers knows it's from the lack of sleep.

After Chris ate like he hasn't seen food in days, they went back to the hotel Piers is staying at. The soldiers staying in the same hotel of Piers didn't say anything when Chris and Piers entered Piers' room. After all, they were leaving Piers take care of the SOU captain. The ace couldn't talk to Chris since the man was too drunk to even coordinate his movement, and Piers knows Chris won't remember what he tells him now. So that night Piers sat on the couch, watching as Chris took hours to finally fall asleep only to twist and turned in his sleep. It is the silent tear that graces his cheek that has the ace steps closer to Chris, and runs his fingers through his hair, and gently kiss the tear away. "I know it's hard. I know it hurts…" Piers says gently. Piers' soothing voice and gentle touch seems to calm down Chris as he shifts in his sleep and covers himself with the blanket. Piers walks back to his chair and before he knows it he's nodding off, even though he told himself he wouldn't fall asleep- scared Chris would run away if he does. It's the bear of a snore that jolts him awake again. Hazel eyes return his captain, and he can see the man has fully calmed down and is now snoring loudly. He never thought hearing his captain loud snore can calm him as much as it did. From the looks of it, the nightmares have subsided for now.

"You alright in there captain?" Piers asks while knocking with the back of his knuckles. "Can I come in?" He asks.

There is a shuffling sound on otherside of the door before there is a click of the lock being turned. A part of Piers hopes it wasn't Chris locking the door instead of opening it. Testing the doorknob by moving it back and forth before pushing against the door, Piers is relieved to know it is now unlocked.

When Piers steps in, he sees his captain sitting on the toilet seat, slouched forward, elbows on knees and rubbing his head. His hair is still all over the place, and he looks tired. "How are you feeling?" He finds himself asking as he steps closer.

"What do you think kid?" The response generates a hum from the young sniper, not really a fan of the word kid. It makes him feel like an immature brat. "I need a drink."

"No you don't." Piers answers, grabbing a rag and wetting it. Walking over to Chris he drapes it over the back of his neck, ignoring the mild refuses to think Chris got scared over something so mild as a rag cloth. Chris isn't scared of anything, not with the shit he's been through.

The BSAA captain does not look up at Piers, his eyes somewhere far away. For a second the ace believes he has to bring Chris back to reality, but Chris speaks up before Piers could try anything. "Why are you trying to help me?" The words sound bitter, and with the silence in the room, it makes Piers' heart beat faster.

"Why wouldn't I help you. You're my-" Piers licks his lips while going on one knee. Chris is now looking at him, brown eyes trying to read why Piers stopped mid-sentence. "You're my captain." He finishes.

"That's why?" Chris says with a scoff.

Piers frowns. "Is that not good enough for you?" He challenges Chris, the hand on his lap curling into a fist.

"I thought… I thought-" Chris shakes his head as he tries to stand up and not accidentally smack Piers and make the man lose his balance and end up sitting on his ass.

Standing up quickly, Piers looks over at his captain. "You thought what?" Piers presses, not missing the hurt and confusion that flashed in those brown eyes. "What were you thinking?" Piers asks again when he sees Chris continue to head out of the bathroom. Feeling his stubborn nature take over, Piers grabs Chris' hand to stop him, but that earns a violent reaction as Chris quickly whirls around and tries to punch Piers. He ends up pushing Piers on the shoulder instead, making the man stumble back a step or two and clutch his shoulder.

Piers' eyes are wide with confusion. Chris had tried to punch him in the bar, but missed. But Chris at that time made no effort to change his fist into shove. This time, where he would have gotten him, Chris chooses to push him instead. Though the action still has Piers surprised. Chris has never actually had a problem with Piers rebelling, voicing his thoughts, or touching Chris Even when he falls out of line, Chris would talk to him. Like that time Chris tried to stop him from fighting with Jake back in Edonia. The BSAA captain had stopped him, by placing his arm across Piers' chest in an attempt to hold him back, and Piers had disrespected the BSAA captain and pushed Chris' arm down- with more force than he should have. To his captain. And yet Chris didn't yell at him, nor reprimand him, but spoke to him. It hurts Piers to see how much his captain has changed.

"Leave me alone." Chris says, as he turns to leave. "Coming here was a mistake."

"I haven't told you about yourself!" Piers almost yells after Chris, falling into step behind the man. "Chris, you have to stay. I can't lose you, again. Alpha team needs you! The BSAA needs you. The world needs you! You're the best at what we do, and there is no one who can replace you!" Piers reaches for Chris' hand again, not caring that it provoked a violent reaction last time. "Please, stay." He tries, hoping Chris would change his mind.

Chris stops walking, before he looks back at Piers. "Ok, but make it quick I need to drink something, and it better be worth my time." Chris answers Piers as he sits on the bed.

"Before I tell you, wash up." Piers says, still standing by the hotel door, feeling like a dog guarding the exit. "You stink."

A chuckle escapes Chris' lips. "Fine, I guess that's fair enough." The BSAA captain stands up and heads towards the bathroom only to stop and look at the mirror. He looks horrible. It's almost painful to watch his own reflection. Those dead eyes, and tired face. Looking up at the mirror, he can see Piers still standing by the door, his hazel eyes hiding something Chris can't seem to make out.

Suddenly, without warning, there is a sharp pain in his head, and black and white flashes of his memories penetrate his skull. He can see Piers close to him, his lips brushing his, arms around him. He can feel Piers' fingers at the nape of his neck, as he bites his lower lip and gently sucks.

"Ugh!" Chris is holding his head, his other hand on the sink to help him keep standing. He can't seem to understand what his head is doing to him. He's had flashbacks before but none like this. None of them about Piers.

Feeling those hands on his back the BSAA captain jumps and turns to face Piers. The young man is regarding him with a worried gaze, his hands inches from Chris' face.

"Captain?" The words bring a shiver down Chris' back the moment the words leave Piers' lips. The feeling of Piers' cold hand on his jaw makes him jump slightly once again, hating himself for reacting this way. "Are you ok?"

Chris shakes his head. "I don't know." Chris admits, the images once again disappearing from his conscious mind.

"Let me help you." Piers says with a small smile, guiding Chris to sit down on the closed toilet seat. Returning to the sink, Piers grabs some items before crunching down next to Chris. "I'm going to help you."

Seeing Chris close his eyes tight and nod, Piers' smile widens. Gently, he holds onto the captain's jaw and smooths out the shaving cream. "I won't hurt you." Piers reassures as he passes the razor along the man's jaw. Once Piers finishes with this task, he'll trim Chris' hair and make sure he smells like a man who is starting to find himself again and not someone who lost their way.

 **Thank you for reading! I'm working to update sometime this week. Hopefully!**


	3. What Once Was

**All RE characters belong to Capcom**

Chris slumps his shoulders. He feels like he's getting nowhere. No matter what Piers tells him, nothing comes back to him. It just doesn't fit in. Everything Piers tells him feels like it's either a lie, or a nightmare. Piers doesn't get mad at him, even when Chris yells at him. Though he can't say the ace takes it gently. Piers does put him back in his place, but he does it with caution, knowing Chris is on the tip of his feet ready to run away again. Chris knows his angry outburst are irrational, but the longer he doesn't get a drink in him, the angrier and more irrational he gets.

But he can't say he hasn't gotten anywhere. If anything, he found something out not too long ago, which changed how he saw Piers. It was three days ago when Chris started asking Piers what their relationship was, in which Piers kept avoiding the answer to. It was the day before, when Chris had a break down.

It was when he went to get a glass of water, or maybe it was to check if Piers had any alcoholic beverages, which he knew he didn't but he still wanted to check. He thinks it was the light of the refrigerator, but the moment the bright light assaulted his eye, flashes of monsters, BOWs, people he did not know started flashing before his eyes. There is a loud noise in his head, close to that of a whisper and it leaves him clutching his head in pain and falling onto one knee. He didn't know he was crying out in pain until he saw Piers take the turn towards him in the kitchen, skidding to his knees and holding his shoulders.

"What's wrong?!" Piers' voice sounds distant to him but he can still pick up the urgency in his voice. Chris tries to push Piers away, but all he does is make Piers relocate himself in front of him, and keep holding on even tighter.

Chris let's out another pained groan as he tries to pull away this time, but like the last time, Piers is not any farther than he was a few seconds ago. Piers is holding tight and Chris can't pull away. His limbs are shaking uncontrollably, and he feels his head spinning. He can't keep himself still, as his shoulders shake from the panic attack that keeps rising to the point he wants to hurt Piers, to run away, and hit a bar and forget again. He's been so long without a drink, and it's been playing with him. He hears things and sees things. It's hard to forget, and drinking provided that relief, now everything is slowly creeping on him, covering him with it's dark shadow and he can't seem to be able to do anything but try to hold himself together as he feels his body might tear at the seams.

Piers can see the panic in Chris' eyes, the way he seems to be breaking right in front of him. He can't do anything but hold his captain tightly, but that is doing little to nothing as the man in front of him shakes with a fear only his mind can see and hear. Piers is scared for his captain. He's heard rumors from the people close to Chris that after Kijuju the man had a mental breakdown. He would freak out at the slightest noise and bright lights would provoke a negative reaction from Chris. Jill says the reactions were flashbacks, but no one knows for sure since Chris refused to talk about it. Chris had hurt himself a few times, and with the blood inside of his body, he would write the words Kijuju over and over again on the walls. Chris had started getting better, after treatment and medication he should still be on. But after what happened to his team in Edonia it seems Chris has finally hit rock bottom and has made camp. Looking at this broken man, Piers can't help but feel this is it for Chris. He lost Chris.

Piers shakes his head. Chris has always proved to be resilient and this Chris is the same Chris from long ago. He won't allow Chris to crumble like this. To lose himself forever. Chris can find himself and will. Piers has seen the BSAA captain's happy side. The one that takes order and charge and makes a difference. He's seen first hand WHY he is the legendary Chris Redfield. And Piers knows Chris is under there somewhere. And he will bring him back! He won't let this legendary man break and fall. Piers won't allow Chris to stay like this. Not this drunk. That's all Chris is right now. A shell shocked drunk who needs help. Piers will bring him up from the deep abyss Chris fell into. He won't allow Chris to break here on the kitchen floor in front of the fridge. He will do anything.

Without even thinking it, Piers grabs Chris' coat collar and yanks him close, smacking their lips together. He sees his captain's eyes widen with surprise. Chris slowly starts responding to the kiss, his wide eyes drifting shut as he leans into the Ace.

They stay like that, in each other's embrace, before brown eyes flutter open again. The shaking has stopped, the fear behind those brown eyes gone, and instead Piers sees something he recognizes in Chris' eyes.

Love.

For a second Piers believes Chris has remembered him, but he knows that's too much to ask for. But he can see the recognition of feelings that are stirring inside of Chris.

When he let's go, Chris is breathing heavily. His confused eyes going to Piers before he slumps on the floor, looking very exhausted. Piers runs his fingers along Chris' hair before he stands up. He doesn't want to confuse Chris even more than he already is… Piers did what he had to, and if he had to be honest he panicked when he thought he was going to lose Chris. What Piers did was out of fear, he wasn't thinking, he reacted on impulse and grabbed Chris and smacked their lips together. Regardless, it was able to calm Chris down, and it seems he will be ok, for now at least.

"I'll be in my room." He mumbles out.

"Wait…" Chris almost pleads, his eyes going to Piers before he averts them. Piers does wait, but when he sees Chris won't talk, he nods once while he starts making his way back to his room.


	4. To Remember You

**All RE characters Belong to Capcom**

 _The light flashes across the room, like dancing thunder and lightening as it illuminates the dark. The debri falls like snow, but when it lands it's like a ton of bricks, causing water to spray and fill the space. There is no time. They have to move. But he's not moving fast enough. He's slowing down. But he won't leave him behind._

"Piers, no don't do this! Open the door!... Goddamit it, listen to me! We can both still get out of here! There's still time. What are you doing, No Piers, don't! You can still make it out!"

The Ace looks up at Chris, and shakes his head.

"Goddamit Piers! No! Piers open the goddamn door- it's an order. No…"

The BSAA captain is on the other side of the the hard glass door, pounding his fist against it and screaming his lungs raw. But he doesn't care, not when Piers is on the other side of the door. Not when Piers is mutated. Not when he knows Piers is going to die if he stays behind. No! He doesn't want that! He needs to help Piers, save him.

He's the only one he has left. Chris can't lose him.

Chris feels his heart skip a beat when he sees Piers move slightly out of his sight, so he can push the lever down and release the escape pod. The BSAA captain continues to desperately pound against the door, but it's no use, and before Chris could say anymore, he's moving, away from Piers. The escape pod is moving without Piers!

"Pieeers!" Chris yells the Ace's name, feeling everything fall around him. He thought they were going to live. He thought Piers could still make it out. But… he didn't.

It's the hurdling monster cry that has Chris look out again, and that's when he sees Haos, still alive and after him. It just won't leave him alone. Chris glares at the beast, a part of him wanting to live for Piers while the other part of him waiting to be buried with Piers in this unforgivable watery grave.

But like always, Piers takes the option away from him as lightning flashes in front of his eyes and Haoas gives its last cry.

It's has to be the flashing lights, like that time by the fridge, when he had those flashbacks, and like that time, his memories flash before him. Not just any memory, but of Piers. Of what they had, and what they are.

Chris remembers Piers' touch, when they're bodies were a sweaty mess after their active night. He remembers Piers' scent, and the way he used to taste. He remembers the photographs on the nightstand, and their clothes on the floor. He remembers being in tangled limbs with Piers, and raking his fingers through Piers' short hair.

And like that, old feelings… no, not old feelings, forgotten feelings, of who Piers is, floods back to him quickly, almost like crashing water that fills his being.

They had something. They were lovers. He loves Piers. But now he watches as Piers grows smaller by the second, and his heart hammers so hard against his rib cage, it physically hurts.

"Noooo!" Chris yells, his words forever lost in the deep blue sea.

CCCNNN

Chris looks into the glass of alcohol between his fingers, as he leans his weight forward, his elbows on the counter.

A new form of guilt eats at him… he remembers loving Piers. He remembers having been with the Ace. But when he tries to remember what Piers' favorite color was, or what he liked to eat, he draws blanks. How can he love someone he knows, and yet love a stranger? He gets flashes, pieces of memories of Piers, and sometimes it doesn't make sense. Chris thinks his memories timeline is mixing, creating image, places and events that didn't occur the way they are supposed to. It doesn't feel fair for Piers, for him to only remember pieces.

The worse of this is, after the electricity, after ' supposingly remembering Piers' the only way he can remember any details of Piers is by drinking until he can't remember anything else. His head clears from his most recent thoughts, from the death of his team, from Piers' death and all that is left… Is Piers' memories.

Of how Piers used to be. And how Piers loved him.

And above that, how much Chris loves Piers.

 **The End**

 **Thank you for reading! That's the end.**


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